Good thing the life insurance meeting was yesterday

My boss, we'll call him "Larry," is a total hypochondriac. If I do a lil' silent sneeze thing, he is convinced I have an air-borne type of cancer. My leg falls asleep at my desk and he thinks I have polio and he's going to catch it. At one point, when a bout of colds were going around the office, he walked around with a doctor's mask on his face for two days straight.

He came in this morning with a few little scratches from one of his FOURTEEN cats. 

"Do you have any gauze?," he asked me.

"For what? You're not bleeding," I replied.

"I think I need stitches."

I then sent him this link: 

www.cdc.gov/HEALTHYPETS/diseases/catscratch.htm

About 20 minutes later, he came out of his office with a panic-striken look on his face. "I'm lightheaded. And I think my glands are swollen. Do you think I should call my doctor and get an antibiotic? No, nevermind. Antiobiotics don't work on me anymore."

About two minutes ago, he very seriously said, "If I die from this cat scratch, it's your fault for not having any gauze. Good thing the life insurance meeting was yesterday."