Alice's birthday surprise

Most of you (i.e., all four of you that read this) know my high school pal Dave (or have at least heard a ridiculous story about him). Dave is the kind of guy who would convince me to go to his work's very formal holiday parties with him, only to introduce me as his "escort" when I wasn't paying attention. A few years ago, he went to CANCUN with our 65-year-old high school physics teacher for no reason in particular.

I received the following e-mail from Dave this afternoon regarding my roommate, who he has never met:

David P to me

2:38 PM (3 hours ago)

Val, is Alice looking to get laid on her bday?
-Dave

Proceed with caution, Alice. I suspect that at any point during your birthday party, you could turn around and see this face lurking closely behind you: