eau de dirty

me: bradley cooper and robert deniro are downstairsthey're filming a scene in the lobby

the catering truck is right outside my apartment!

10:02 AM Melissa: throw your bra down!!

me: HAHAHAHAH

Melissa: spritz it with some Exclamation

me: or anything from the Christina Aguillera perfume collection

Melissa: mmmm

smells like eau de dirty

me: eau de dirRty

Répétez s'il vous plaît?

There are two ways to deal with Larry when he's acting especially stubborn and child-like. 1) Remind him how easily you could have him fired for sexual harassment. 2) Talk about anything lady-oriented. Code words: tampon, period, cramps. Works every time, per the following conversation, which just happened on this sleepy Friday afternoon:

Me: I'm sleepy.

L: I'm sleepy.

Me: My head kinda hurts.

L: My head kinda hurts.

Me: I'm getting my period tomorrow.

L: [loud shrieking]

Earthquakes and obviousness

10:58 AM me: from textsfromlastnight.com:

(760): "so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?"

Melissa: HAHAHAHA

i would never tire of telling people i caused an earthquake

me: hhahahahai cant believe its friday already

when did that happen?Melissa: at midnight

Backyard hosedown

I can only hope this "Best of Philly" nomination is in regard to my senior editor's dog and not her husband.

------ Forwarded Message

From: Amy

Date: Tue, 6 Apr 2010 14:30:55 -0400

To: Val

Subject: Re: Best of Philly

He got a nice bath recently at Doggie Style in Montgomeryville, now that

it's warm out, I'm going back to doing it myself outside with the hose

though.

Hoff heads to Vegas

Ashley: The next girls trip -http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/david-hasselhoff-heads-to-vegas_1137531

Sent at 11:24 AM on Thursday

me: hahahah is that an april fools joke?

Ashley: i sure hope...

NOT

MFK, The Office-style

Melissa: Michael Scott, Daryl Philbin, Jim Halpert

Marry F Kill

an obvious one to start

4:03 PM and my only "research" was catching 2 episodes of the tuesday Office marathon

me: marry jim (duh), f michael, kill daryl Melissa: how about... Dwight, Kevin, Creed

me: marry creed hahahah

f dwight

kill kevin

Melissa: marry kevin, f dwight, kill creed

i clearly have no time for work, but i can talk about MFK Office characters

me: priorities

Candy-coated raindrops

Sent at 11:58 AM on Wednesday

Melissa: Do you ever dream of candy coated raindrops?