Baby boy was me

This will never get old. Ever.

HOT pastrami!

It's only 11:20am and the following events have already occurred in this office:

- a woman at a local deli screamed "I don't give a SHIT!" and then cackled like a crazy person when I asked her if she wanted the name on the credit card I was giving her;

- our HR manager told me she was going to "increase my box" (of petty cash!) and four of us cracked up like 12-year-old boys;

- I just heard someone down the hall yell, "Don't make me get out my whip!";

- our fashion editor is currently blow drying her hair... in the doorway of her office... with a massive grin on her face; and

- Larry is so excited about a catered lunch meeting he has today that he's walking around the office yelling, "HOT pastrami! HOT pastrami!" and talking about how much he likes spicy mustard.

All in all, it's a productive day so far.

100% Real Woman

My little sister categorizes all the people in her cell phone, so her text messages always end with a note letting me know how I've been categorized that week. Sometimes it's something sweet like *LOVED*. Other times it has been *GOOD LOOKIN'* (she's a smart girl) or *FUNNY*. I texted her today, and at the bottom of her response:

*100% REAL WOMAN*

Haha yessssss.

I need a new Kangol hat!

Today is Larry's birthday. He sent me an e-mail at 2:34am this morning that said "McCoy [one of his 14 cats] and I watched the Phillies game together. It's my birthday so I'm not setting my alarm. See ya when I see ya, ho."

For his birthday last year, I bought Larry this. One of his favorite stories ever is how in junior high, he and a friend made weed brownies and sold them at the school bake sale. They didn't grind the weed first, so big chunks were stuck in their principal's teeth.

On Friday, I asked Larry if he ever used the cookbook. He said, "I don't even know what I did with it. And no, I never used it." I replied, "Well, then I'm never buying you a birthday present ever again."

"But I've been hinting that I need a new Kangol hat!"

Get in the cauldron!

I visited Rachel in Annapolis earlier this week, and we spent Tuesday afternoon skipping around the world's most amazingly random farm like giggly school girls. Not long after driving up the dirt road leading to our mecca, we spotted a sign that said, "You pick it, you bought it. We will inspect your car!"... And with that, I knew we were about to have a fun day. We stayed there for FOUR HOURS and it was ridiculously hilarious the entire time.

Never underestimate the fun of a snake-shaped pumpkin:

Black Summer's Night

I got my hands on a pair of free 3rd row tickets to Maxwell's "Black Summer's Night" tour at the Spectrum for Saturday night. The title of the tour should have been an indication that Erin and I would be in the racial minority. Turns out Pink was performing at the stadium across the street, and we were asked no short of five times, "Are you sure you girls aren't supposed to be watchin' Pink across the street?!"

Like Samuel L. Jackson

It is SLOW at work today. There are only five of us here, Larry has been hurling a koosh ball at everyone who walks by, and I think I'm the only person wearing shoes.

With all this spare time, I've decided to make a list of reasons I'm glad it's Fall:

- scarves;

- boots;

- pumpkin spice lattes;

- haunted houses and hayrides;

- apple cider;

- Halloween;

- Sunday football (i.e., mid-afternoon beer and bar food);

- Larry doesn't wear his white jeans anymore; and

- any day now, Larry will start wearing his kangol hat (backwards, "like Samuel L. Jackson," as he just reminded me).